stone savage

“Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.” - Albert Camus

You’ve met charming men before, haven’t you? Of course you have. We love charming men!

The flash of the smile. The nod of the head. The quick wit. The friendly demeanor. Oh, how they woo us with their wiles and win us whether we will it or not.

You’ve met stunningly beautiful women before, haven’t you? Of course you have. We love beautiful women!

The flash of the smile. The flip of the hair. The sultry looks. The sensual demeanor. Oh, how they woo us with their wiles and win us whether we will it or not.

But there is a difference between beauty and charm. There is a very big difference.

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Beauty attracts and charm tricks. What beauty inspires us to desire, charm would take without ever announcing itself. A beautiful woman might inspire us to hope, to dream, to fear, to doubt, to be - but a charmer? What would a charmer have us do? A charmer would have us look the other way whilst sleight of hand steals the jewel. A charmer would have us doubt our resolutions to replace them with his desires. A charmer is a charlatan. A beguiler. A cad.

No honesty exists in charm alone. No honesty ever could - for how can honesty and beguilement ever exist in harmony?

So what does it say that we imprison a man who would assault a woman in a back alley to have his way with her without care to consequence or the person upon whom his act is performed - and yet we smile, nod, and embrace the man whose charm, though lacking in violence, accomplishes the same end? Why is one predation and the other is not?

I know you know what I’m talking about here - especially if you’re female. How many men have asked you for sex only to increase the pressure or increase the varying methods of asking ever time you’ve said no? How many men have targeted the young and naive to awaken a sexual desire and exploit that newly breached emotion for no other goal but sexual gratification?

What a rapist takes by force, a child molestor takes by charm. A rapist is bold. His action without hesitation. It is a rushed and hurried act, after which he is never likely to return. That is not true of a molestor. Far more sinister are the molestor’s ways.

The molestor is timid, shy, and maybe even apologetic. His action is slow. His conquest is an invitation to return.

Rape is aggression’s cousin. Guilt is charm’s.

We know the rapist is a foul and evil person. We feel guilty for questioning the integrity of the charmer. We know it’s not our fault when the rapists strikes. We blame ourselves when the charmer succeeds.

A man who pursues a woman for a sexual end and who takes no heed to prohibitions, negative declaratives, or explicit rejection is a man whose seduction is predatory. When he hears the protest and leans in to brush his lips against yours; when he feels you pulling away and he runs his hands around your waist; when he watches your eyes fill with doubt and he seizes his chance - in all those cases that man is a predator and you are his prey.

Once the predator has had his fill what becomes of him? What becomes of you? Why do we accept this as “a fact of life"? Because it happens so often makes it right? Surely not!

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