stone savage

“I like the word `indolence.’ it makes my laziness seem classy.” - Bern Williams

I admit it. I’m lazy. I’ll always find the most efficient way to get something done… not because it can be done better or faster that way - but because by being efficient I have to do less to get it completed.

Yes, if necessity is the mother of invention - then laziness is the grandmother. Efficiency is really just intelligent laziness if you think about it. Why do we have washing machines? Because someone was too lazy to stick with using a washboard and a tub where cleaning clothes took hours of manual labor. Why do we have drying machines? So no one had to sit there and manually spend hours hanging up clothes on a line, checking them, and then taking them down.

The same goes for why we have riding lawn mowers, dish washing machines, grocery stores, and cars. It’s all about getting the most done with the least amount of effort.

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It’s not that I’m given to sloth, it’s that I’m wickedly efficient. If there’s 3 hours worth of work that needs doing, I’ll always find a way to get it done in much less time. I don’t cut corners in quality of the work - I simply shave off unnecessary time sinks within the task or find a better way to get it done.

That should mean that I’m a more productive person. Really what it ends up meaning is that I work less than the rest of my colleagues.
There are efficiency experts everywhere. How do I get that job?

I still haven’t figured out why it’s better to work harder rather than smarter. If I have an application I need to design that will take 6 months to complete - I’ll find a way to make the design innovative enough for it to be less complex and therefore less time consuming. That saves money, time, and resources. How is that a bad thing?

I think it’s a matter of being intelligent with the laziness. That’s got to be the definition of efficiency if I’ve ever heard one.

Want to figure out how to go from 20 processes to 10? Ask a lazy person. Want to speed up production without damaging quality? Ask a lazy person for input.

I think a lazy person should be elected World Emperor. Imagine the progress we’d have under such a person!

No more war - that takes too much effort. Instead, the balance of power in the world will be settled by a game of Quake.

No more famine - feeding the world is a matter of just feeding it. All the political posturing takes too much effort.

No more heinous crime - running around trying to rehabilitate people is draining. Deport everyone who commits heinous crimes and be done with it.

No more 2 year construction projects every three years to repave roads - that takes too long, and requires way too much energy. Just pave it right the first time with the longest lasting stuff and be done with it for 30 years.

See how easy that is? It frees everyone up to spend more time doing nothing.

And it is doing nothing that allows us to do what we want rather than what we have to do. From now on, every time I hear someone complain about how lazy people are bad… I’m going to realize that the person complaining is really just saying “I wish I was smart enough to be that efficient".

Yep. I’m lazy and I’m damn proud of it.

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