stone savage

“Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.” - Brooks Atkinson

What an interesting year 2007 turned out to be for me! To give you an idea of the insanity, allow me to share with you what the last 365 days were like for me:

I drove across the half-country twice; successfully delivered and managed some of the most grueling and challenging projects of my career; survived my worst emotional pain; dealt with deep relationship issues; quit smoking; endured unimaginable anxiety; completely redefined bonded friendships; bought my first house; changed jobs… and the hits just kept on coming!
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I would be glad to see this year go except that I learned some time ago to be thankful for the lessons Life gives me. Every lesson learned is a lesson I do not have to repeat - and there is not a single lesson from this year I ever want to face again.

So, I figured instead of my usual sappy approach to the New Year’s holiday I will share with you the major theme of my lessons this year:

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“Well, I feel as I can only answer for myself. Everybody has to make this choice for themselves. I can only say I feel saving Pakistan by saving democracy is worth putting my life on the line.” - Benazir Bhutto, former Prime Minister of Pakistan

zeitgeist: 12/27/2007; 2-weeks prior to legislative elections
ortgeist: Pakistan

I am moving across the country tomorrow. I was not planning on visiting my blog for at least a week. Plans change.

With all the stress and excitement of the last few days I was not surprised to find myself unable to sleep after being awakened at 2am. I was, however, completely shocked to watch the unfolding news story of the assassination of Benazir Bhutto in Rawalpindi, Pakistan today. However she met her end, with or without the aid of those who should have been protecting her, what matters now is how her people and the world respond to her passing.

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“But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” - Luke 2:10-11, NASB

Every year on Christmas Eve my father reads a passage to us from the 2nd chapter of Luke. If you are unfamiliar with the passage by its reference, it is the chapter in which we find the Christmas story. My father reads it to us - “lest we forget” as he says. It is the entire reason for the holiday, afterall. It is the story of the birth of an infant who was to experience a life and death we still cannot fully comprehend to this day.

I am not the sort to expect anyone to embrace that which they cannot fathom, nor that which they must categorically reject. I do not argue the divinity of Christ, nor do I insist upon His being the literal Son of God. I will not argue about the veracity of the Bible, nor whether or not translators are or were inspired by God. None of that matters to me - and I will say it now… none of it should matter to anyone.

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I have fixed registrations for the site. If you were caught by the anti-spam filter, please try again and you should now be able to register.

If not, please leave me a comment on this article.

Ever wondered if it was worth quitting WoW for that boyfriend or girlfriend? Read on…

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“You should have called an ambulance… another day or two and you could have died. - an angry bedside-manner-impaired Emergency Room Doctor at Vandenberg AFB, CA in 1990

I will never forget those words. I could have died. Me! I could have died for no good reason at the ripe old age of nineteen.

I remember lying in the trauma center room thinking about his words and feeling so afraid, freezing cold, and alone. I remember the very kind nurse who held my hand and talked to me. I remember watching her eyes move about as she spoke. I remember smiling when I figured out what she was doing and I struggled to speak. I asked her if she was just trying to distract me. She paused a moment then smiled with a true compassion as she admitted to the conspiratorial ruse just before the IV needle found its mark. I remember them flushing the fluids through me by squeezing bag after bag of fluids into my veins. I remember being confused and not understanding why any of it was happening.

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John Nash: Hello, Martin.
Martin Hansen: Jesus Christ.
John Nash: No. I don’t have that one. My savior complex takes a different form.”

I recently made the mistake of trying to prevent someone for whom I deeply cared from making what I believed was the mistake of a lifetime. I gallantly threw myself under the spiked wheels of self-sacrifice and made mince-meat out of my own sanity just trying to save her from herself.

The problem was, she had no desire to be saved and it just did not occur to me, as I lay there looking like Texas roadkill, that any rational person would disregard the warnings thousands of people have given just to see if maybe they were all wrong - or to not even care if they were, and to simply want to experience it all first hand. Obviously my friend was in far more need of my help than I ever thought - so I braced myself for what would apparently end up being the mother of all altruistic self-mortifications.

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“Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you.” ~Author Unknown

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” - Tom Robbins

Ah, yes, the perfect lover! The ever elusive soul-mate! How many of us long to find that certain special someone in whom we believe our destiny will finally be fulfilled?

I say it’s a bunch of hogwash. Oh, I know, it’s just really nice to believe and hope for it. I get it. I really do - and our romance novels, magazines, television shows, and star-filled movies tell us the same thing; there’s a special someone for everyone. Someone for everyone? That implies there is just one person who is meant to be for any other person. I say horsepucky!

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“Accept the pain, cherish the joys, resolve the regrets; then can come the best of benedictions — ‘If I had my life to live over, I’d do it all the same.” - Joan MacIntosh

No lie, when I was twenty-two years old I had a Proactive Mid-Life Crisis. Seriously, I’m not kidding! I remember sitting in a park watching butterflies, ants, and lady bugs when I just happened to look around me and saw a fifty year old man who obviously wanted to believe he was still in his thirties. He looked ridiculous. I watched him for a while wondering what he thought he was really gaining; when I realized all he was doing was trying to feel better about the choices he’s made in life.

It occurred to me - one day I will be in my fifties and I will very likely have a mid-life crisis. One day I will probably look ridiculous trying to seem hip and youthful. I will most likely try to recapture my youth and try to do things I always wished I had done. Now, of course I couldn’t know at the tender age of twenty-two that I would go through such a thing, but based on how many people go through it I figured there was a good enough possibility that I should really give it some thought. I started asking myself what sorts of things might I wish I had done, or done differently, when I looked back over my life in twenty or thirty years.

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“…when a guy’s really into you, he’s coming upstairs.” - Berger, from HBO’s Sex in the City

Does anyone actually want a serious relationship with someone who is not all that into us? I mean, honestly, when is the last time you heard someone ask for that in their boyfriend? I can tell you how often I’ve heard it - never. So shouldn’t we only be dating the ones who actually are interested? The answer is yes - unless we’re talking about Meaningless-Sex-Guy and that’s a whole different article. So, I think the first order of business is to address how it you actually know if a guy is into you. Allow me to share my thoughts…

You know because he makes it clear beyond a shadow of a doubt. You know because he asked you out almost immediately after meeting you. You know because he made the first move before it ever crossed your mind that you might want him to. You know because you don’t have to ask your girlfriends if they think he really “likes you". You know because your phone doesn’t stop ringing. But the ultimate tell-tale sign that a guy is off the market because he’s really into you? He ditches his buddies to be with you.

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